Reflections from the Road

One of the greatest things we can teach our children is self-discipline.

As parents, we cannot spend the rest of our lives chasing our children around, monitoring every movement, and trying to prevent every possible mistake. Our responsibility is to teach them wisdom while they are young, so that when they eventually face difficult choices on their own, they will have the good judgment to make the right decision.

We teach them good judgment, model good judgment, and pray that God gives them good judgment.

Sometimes a parent’s worry and fear can actually frustrate a child. When children feel constantly controlled, watched, or mistrusted, they may begin to rebel—not necessarily because they were determined to do wrong, but because they feel the need to prove that they can make their own decisions.

The solution is not to hover over our children forever. The solution is to train them.

The Bible says:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
—Proverbs 22:6

If we truly believe that Scripture, then our goal should not be to become helicopter parents. Our goal should be to faithfully train our children and prepare them for the day when they must walk without us constantly standing beside them.

Psalm 127 describes children as arrows in the hands of a warrior. An arrow is carefully formed, aimed in the proper direction, and then released toward a target.

That is one reason I named my son Arrow.

As much as I love this boy, I understand that one day he will no longer remain in our quiver. My wife and I will have to release him. Before that day comes, it is our responsibility to point him toward truth, love, faith, wisdom, and ultimately toward Christ.

While he is young, we must teach him, correct him, encourage him, pray for him, and model the life we want him to live. But when he reaches the proper age, we must trust the training, trust God, and allow him to pursue the calling and purpose God has placed upon his life.

Good parenting is not controlling every move a child makes for the rest of their life.

Good parenting is shaping the arrow, pointing it in the right direction, and having the faith to let it go.